Butler For Hire
by Sakuchi-san
Summary: After Pluto accidentally breaks Sebastian's ankle the Phantomhive Manor is in need of a new head butler. Ciel posts ads up around London for the job, but the people who came to apply...were not the ones he wanted in his house. In fact, NOBODY would want these kind of butlers. And will Sebastian ever protect his roses? A little bit of OOC, depending on situation.
1. The Butler's Injury

Mornings in the Phantomhive Manor started off as any other morning. Ceil wakes up, Sebastian helps him get dressed, Bard blows up the kitchen, Sebastian fixes it and gives Ceil breakfast, MeyRin breaks all the dishes and Sebastian cleans them up, Finny's dog burns down the garden and Sebastian replants the flowers, and all day long Tanaka drinks his tea.

For a demon butler all this is a piece of cake. All of it except dealing with the demon hound that Finny refuses to give up. 'Pluto', as Finny calls it, causes almost as much destruction than Bard, Finny, and MeyRin could do in a week. And the _surprises_ that Pluto leaves in the rose garden makes Sebastian wish that he never took the job as butler in the first place.

One afternoon while Sebastian was pruning the white roses, he happened to smell a stench coming off the east wind. Dreading what he was about to see he slowly turned his head to look at the steaming pile of _you know what. _Pluto was unsuccessfully trying to hide it with his large bulk.

"Ugh, you damn demon hound. Why do you insist on going HERE of all the places on the manor. Why _shit _on my _roses?_" Sebastian scoled Pluto holding the spade threateningly in his gloved hands. "You can do that somewhere else!"

Immediately changing into his human form, Pluto rushes over to Sebastian and begins hugging on him. Being from the supernatural world like Sebastian, Pluto had an enormous amount of strength and what seemed like a simple hug to him was a sweaty wrestler hold to Sebastian.

"Finian. GET IT THE HELL OFF ME!" Sebastian yelled to the golden-haired gardener on the other side of the bushes.

Finny was busy trying to decide whether or not the yellow sign with the black wingy-looking things meant anything dangerous when he heard Sebastian yelling for him. "Right away, Sebastian!" Finny called as he put down the bag of toxic waste and ran towards the rose garden.

"Pluto! Down boy. Get off Sebastian, boy. Pluto, _please._ PLUTO NO!" Finny shouted as Pluto changed out of his human form into demon hound form. All would have been well if Pluto still wasn't holding on to Sebastian while he did it.

Soon enough Sebastian was buried under 500 pounds of hound butt. And for all his super demon strength, Sebastian could not get him _off. _Finny, going into panic mode, hastily called for Bard and MeyRin who came running over just as fast. All three of them, mostly Finny's superstrength, were able to push Pluto off of Sebastian.

Groggily Sebastian sat up and stared at the three faces crowding into his personal space. Raging mad, Sebastian rose to his feet to scold the three when...he fell on his face. He tried to get up again and met the same result: a face full of dirt. He continually tried to get up when MeyRin spoke up.

"Eh Sebastian? I don't think ya want to be on that foot. In fact, I think it's _broken_." MeyRin pointed out as she bent down next to Sebastian and tried to check out his ankle.

Suddenly Bard moved into the picture. "Move over MeyRin! I was an expert in broken bones in the military, I bet I could set his foot up in a quick sling and-"

"Touch it and you'll end up in the oven." Sebastian said coldly as he sat up. "I want Bard and Finny to help me into the manor and MeyRin to go get the young master and tell him to come down to the foyer. And YOU," Sebastian said menancingly turning towards Pluto, "YOU stay right here, in this spot, and Do. Not. MOVE."

By the time Bard and Finny along with Sebastian came into the foyer, Ceil was already docked into his favorite chair tapping his cane with apparent impatience. "Sebastian! What's all this commotion about? MeyRin ran into my office and practically dragged me down two flights of stairs saying that you were 'dying' or whatever."

"Well I can assure you that I am not 'dying', that was MeyRin's exaggeration. But I have seemed to have broken my ankle-"

"And how the hell did that happen?" Ceil demanded before Sebastian could finish.

"I was just about to tell you that. You see, Pluto sat on me."

"_Excuse me? _Can you repeat that?"

"Okay, I'll try to make it clear this time. The demon hound, known as Pluto, sat on me resulting in the broken ankle." Sebastian stated matter-of-factly.

Ceil let out a tired sigh and roughly facepalmed himself. "You mean to tell me that the demon hound sat on you?"

"Yes."

"And broke your ankle?"

"Yes."

"And now there's no one to be the head butler in the Phantomhive household?"

"Yes."

Sighing again, Ceil got up and went to the typewriter he had on the coffee table in the middle of the foyer. While typing he said, "Well, I would have gotten Tanaka to do it but he's only good for _regular_ emergencies. I need another _supernatural _butler, if you catch my drift, so typing this up will have to do. Bard, Finnian, and MeyRin: go make copies of this and hang them up in town."

And with that Ceil held up the poster he was typing up: HELP WANTED. HEAD BUTLER FOR PHANTOMHIVE MANOR. 1 TRIAL DAY PERMITTED.


	2. A Morbid Butler

It was only a few days before the Phantomhive household had their first applicant. And it wasn't who they wanted to see, in fact _far from it._ Because that applicant was the Undertaker, black clothes and all. He came in with a coffin-shaped suitcase and a copy of Ceil's flyer.

"Hello Ceil Phantomhive, you can probably guess why I'm in your humble abode right now, but if you haven't then I'll gladly fill you in. The head butler job is still available, yes?" Undertaker said as he came into Ceil's office and sat down in one of the chairs.

Ceil glanced up from the work he was doing and stared at Undertaker. "I had meant for the flyer to be for _trained butlers, _not nutcases. Last time I checked you were a person who dealt with the dead and I don't want someone who cleans dead bodies around my food."

"Ahhhh, but you see Ceil, the flyer didn't specify that I had to be a bulter. It just said 'Head Butler Wanted'. And it promised a one day trial period. So I still get to have a chance for the job whether I'm a bulter or not."

Sighing and putting his papers away Ceil called for Sebastian who, despite his broken ankle, came at once. Bowing before Ciel Sebastian asked, "Yes young master? Is there something I could get for you...or someone?"

"Actually no Sebastian. Undertaker's here for the head bulter position and it's up to you to teach him how things go in the Phantomhive Manor. Don't disturb me for anything, just make sure he knows what to do." Ceil said as he started to get back to his work. "Oh and don't let him near the food."

"Yes young master." Sebastian said as he lead Undertaker out the door and into the foyer downstairs. "Alright Undertaker, since you feel you have what it takes to be a butler I want you to clean the whole bottom floor. When you're finished report back to me for your next task." And with that Sebastian left Undertaker to clean.

Which was a mistake, a very bad _MISTAKE. _

"Alrighty then! Clean the foyer, shouldn't be too hard for a beginner. But I must say, this place could really use some redecorating. Luckily I brought some things from the morgue that could help with the mood of this room."

A few hours later MeyRin happened to come into the foyer. She needed to dust the coffeetable in the middle of the room and polish the vase of flowers. What met her inside was a _skeleton_, a _human skeleton. _Smack center on the coffee table. In a coffin of all things. The rest of the foyer was covered in cobwebs and in those cobwebs were spiders, very _real spiders._

"_AHHHH!_ DEAR GOD! Spiders! They're everywhere, they are! How did this happen!? Where did the body in the coffin come from!? And why does everything weird happen on my shift!?" She panicked running out of the room screaming for anyone who could hear her.

She didn't see that Undertaker was slipping out the other door and headed towards the kitchen. _I know Ceil didn't want me near the food but look at all this. It' ridiculously over-eating. _Undertaker thought as he stared at the spread of food before him in the silvers domes. "Honestly all he needs is one dome full of these and he'll be satisfied. Now, off to the garden."

Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Bard was just coming in to take the first of the domes up to Ceil's office for his afternoon lunch. Suspiciously enough the first dome was lighter than the usual Sebastian-made lunches. _I guess he lightened up the meals. _Bard thought as he knocked on the office door and gave the dome to Sebastian when he opened it.

"Now, your lunch for today is a filet of beef wrapped in a buttery, flaky pastry crust topped with a raspberry reduction sauce." Sebastian said as he uncovered the silver dome to reveal the meal underneath, which wasn't really a meal at all.

"Sebastian. What kind of a joke do you think you're trying to pull? I may be the Queen's _Hound_ but I don't eat goddamn DOG BISCUITS!" Ceil shouted hotly at Sebastian picking up one of the bone-shaped cookies and flinging it at the butler, who didn't dodge it because of his broken ankle.

"Why young master I have no idea how those got in there. Unless of course...oh, I see how it happened. Excuse me for one moment young master." Sebastian said as he hobbled out of the office to go find where the Undertaker had gotten off to.

Apparently the Undertaker was in the garden supposedly helping Finny plant some new flowers. He wasn't planting flowers though, he was planting trees: _dead, black trees._ As Sebastian limped down the garden path he could see them bending in the breeze on the verge of toppling over. "UNDERTAKER! What the HELL do you think you're doing!?"

"Oh, hello there Sebastian. Just helping Finny plant some trees in place of these horrid roses. For someone of Ceil's caliber he shouldn't have _these_ in his garden. Just completely out of character."

Sebastian stood frozen in shock as he watched Undertaker uproot his precious white roses. The roses he tended to day and night, the roses he hand-selected from the florer's, the roses he sometimes _grew_ himself. He was watching them be uprooted and replaced with dead trees.

And that was the last straw. Battling to control himself Sebastian said, "Undertaker, I regret to inform you that you will not be receiving the job as head butler. Please, pack your things and GET THE HELL OUT." Sebastian shouted the last part as he started to throw clods of dirt at Undertaker's head.

Undertaker dodged from side to side as he tried to duck the flying clods of dirt. "Ceil didn't like his lunch, eh? I don't see what's wrong with dog biscuits. Oh and did you see the coffin on the coffee table? A nice touch to the atmosphere I might say."

"I'LL PUT YOU IN A COFFIN." Sebastian said darkly. "Get your coffin and your dog biscuits and leave, right now!"

"Okey-Dokey then!" And with that the Undertaker gathered his things and left Phantomhive Manor to make room for the next disastrous butler.


	3. Ceil's Underwear

After yesterday's disaster with the garden Sebastian spent half the early morning replanting his white roses and chopping down Undertaker's dead trees for firewood. Once he had replanted all of the roses he went back inside the manor to get Ciel ready for the morning, but before he could get up the stairs to him the next applicant for the head butler position came in: Lau.

"Sebastian! Good morning to you. I was on my way to one of my 'businesses' when I happened on this flyer pasted on the building. I'm here for the position, and so is Ranmao." Lau said causually as he walked up to Sebastian waving the flyer, Ranmao hanging onto his arm.

_Well, this is an unexpected (and unfortunate) situation._ Sebastian thought as he scratched the back of his head and wondered whether or not to give Lau a trial period. _Young master did say 'one day trial period' and he didn't specify the participants sooo... _

"I'll be delighted to take you on Lau. In fact your trial period starts right now. I want you to go upstairs and get Ciel ready for his day. More than likely he's still in his bed snoring away. I'll leave you to it." Sebastian said to Lau and Ranmao as he left to go make Ciel's breakfast.

"Well you heard the man Ranmao, let's get Ciel up for the day!" Lau declared as he started up the stairs for Ciel's bedroom. It wasn't hard to find since it had the biggest door inside the manor. Not bothering to knock Lau entered the room and took to going through Ciel's drawers to pick out his clothing.

Ranmao, on the other hand, took the liberty to wake Ciel up from his slumber. But Ciel was a sound sleeper and tapping him on the shoulder wasn't going to work. So she decided to wake up Ciel the way she would normally wake up Lau: by sitting on him. Despite the fact that she was wearing see-through clothing.

Feeling the sudden lack of air going into his lungs, Ciel opened his eyes hastily and stared up at the half-dressed woman. And he was _NOT _amused. "THE FU- GET THE HELL OFF ME!" He shouted as he started to squirm under Ranmao's weight.

Ranmao silently got off of Ciel and stood off to one side while he started to get up. He was about to start raging when he saw what Lau was doing. _Th-th-th-this can not be happening! It just can not! _Oh, but it was...

Lau was holding up a pair of Ciel's _underwear._ "Good morning Ciel!" Lau called brightly to the earl in pajamas. "I was just taking the liberty of getting out your dress wear for the day. Including your tighty-whiteys! Aren't I a good butler? Hm?"

"Se-SEBASTIAN! Come at ONCE!" Ciel shouted red in the face, not from anger but from embarrasment from having his underwear displayed in front of a woman.

Sebastian came up the stairs in no time, although limping slightly. "Yes young master? What is wrong? Oh and hello Lau, I see you are taking your duty as butler _very_ seriously." Sebastian said, trying to conceal the smirk and laughter that was coming across his face when he saw the underwear.

"SEBASTIAN. What are they doing in my home!?" Ciel asked heatedly. "And you! Put down my underwear! I don't want you touching it!" Ciel yelled at Lau.

"Oh, would you like it if Ranmao dressed you? I know all young boys might like that..." Lau pondered as he put the underwear back and went to stand beside Ranmao.

"Back to your question, young master. Lau and Ranmao are here for the butler position and I decided to let them get you up for the first task. Seems as if they completed that." Sebastian said still trying to withold his laughter. "Maybe I'll have them work in the garden with Finny for awhile. I'll get you dressed as usual."

After more shouted cuss words (mostly by Ciel) Lau and Ranmao made their way into the garden in the back of the manor. To their suprise the garden was spectacular, a nice place to hold one of Lau's _meetings._ And invite a lot of his _special guests. _(*wink, wink*)

And soon enough all of Lau's _special guests _were seated on Sebastian's precious white roses with Lau at the center. "That's right ladies, these spectacular white roses are only found at the Phantomhive Manor. Very beautiful, aren't they ladies?" Lau gloated as he sat in the middle of the rose patch.

This was the perfect time for Sebastian to show up to witness the destruction of his white roses. All he saw were women, _women who were sitting on his ROSES. __The roses he spent all day REPLANTING. _He just couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Wh-wha-what is this? My roses. My precious white _roses. THE GODDAMN ROSES I PLANTED THIS MORNING! _Sebastian shouted almost tearing his hair out.

"Ah, Sebastian. Come, come. Sit with me and my 'guests'. I'm sure they'll want to meet the person who planted these soft roses." Lau said invitingly holding up a bottle of champagne.

Sebastian silently turned towards Lau with a twisted smile on his face. "Lau. I would greatly appreciate that you..._GET THOSE WHORES OFF OF MY ROSES! AND GET THE HELL OUT!_"

Everyone froze as they watched Sebastian pick up a shovel that was lying on the ground. Lau held up his hands placatingly and started backing out of the garden along with Ranmao and his guests. "Alrighty Sebastian, I catch your drift. Me and Ranmao would just be going back to the den to continue business. No need to get violent."

Sebastian slowly lowered the shovel and regained his composure. "Good, because you have been terminated from this position. Good day."

Now for the next butler that's going to cause chaos.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

**_I know Ciel is spelled as 'Ceil' in this chapter. Blame the autocorrect, I'll get it straight next chapter around. XD_**


	4. Butler Love?

After Ciel's embarrassment yesterday he had made up his mind to seek revenge on Sebastian for letting Lau into his manor, and his bedroom. Ciel has decided that for today he was going to call in a particular someone to be the test butler for the day. Someone who Sebastian did not take a liking to. And he was on his way _now_.

"Sebastian, there's going to be another test butler coming for a trial period today. I want you to go downstairs and give him the tasks he's meant to have today." Ciel told Sebastian early that morning while Sebastian was replanting his roses _yet again._

Glancing up slowly from the flower bed Sebastian said, "As you wish young master. May I ask who you've gotten for today?"

"No. You'll figure out when he comes in." Ciel said with a slight smirk as he walked back into the manor. "Oh and one other thing: he's to stay by you at all times. _That's an order._"

Finishing the rest of his roses, Sebastian got up from the flower bed to go wait in the foyer for the new wondered who the butler was as he paced the foyer floor. He was about to give up and just leave to do his other duties when the door opened. And then the nightmare came in...

"_SEBBY! OH MY DEAR SEBBY!_ Did ya miss me!? Because I missed you...to DEATH!" Grell Sutcliff yelled as he came barreling into the room straight towards a stunned Sebastian. "Come give me a welcome back _kiss!_"

Not being able to dodge on his broken ankle Sebastian couldn't get out of the way. So he braced himself as Grell tackled him to the ground and squeezed him. Sebastian had to use both his hands to push Grell's face away from his. "Your kiss is voided, Grell! Let me up now!"

He tossed Grell off him and scrambled to get up. Wiping his hands on his suit jacket Sebastian said, "That was very _unbutler _like of you. I'm afraid that I'm going to have to tell you to leave now."

"No, no, no. Ciel told me that I can't be fired until the end of the day. And that I'm to stay by your side and not let you out of my sight! Isn't it WONDERFUL." Grell said prancing around Sebastian in small circles. "Now Sebby, what job do you have to _teach me _today?"

Defeated, Sebastian led Grell into the library and said that his first job was to help him dust all the books and organize them. It should have been simple for Grell, but all he wanted to do was fling himself on Sebastian.

"Grell. How many times do I have to tell you that the feather duster does not belong _by my crotch._ Remove it." Sebastian said wearily for the tenth time.

"Oh Sebby! I just thought you would be ticklish there, but looks like you're not. My bad!" Grell implored as he waved the duster around. "Shall we do more cleaning, hm?"

"Actually no. How about we go into the kitchen and prepare Ciel's lunch for the day? And no touching!" Sebastian said as he set his duster down and walked towards the kitchen, with Grell trying to grab-ass him the whole way.

But it turns out that being in the kitchen with Grell was almost as bad as cleaning the library. He was so busy trying to be endearing to Sebastian that he burned almost all the dishes they tried to prepare. Also, Grell found it highly amusing to try to feed Sebastian strawberries and whipped cream. "You know what they say Sebby: Strawberries keep the skin smooth! Eat up!" Grell called as for the third time he tried to shove a strawberry in Sebastian's mouth.

Sebastian put down the carrot he was working with and massaged his forehead. "For the last damn time Grell. Get. The Strawberries. Out Of. MY. FACE!" And with that Sebastian took the knife next to him and threw it at Grell's head.

Grell didn't even need to dodge the knife though. Sebastian's aim was off because he couldn't stand straight on his broken ankle. "Um, might I say Sebby, your aim's a bit off." Grell whimpered as he held up his hair, one side was shorter than the other.

"Leave Now! I'll prepare the rest of the food myself. You go and do...something else besides irritate me." Sebastian growled as he turned back to his carrot.

Walking like a kicked dog, Grell left the kitchen and wandered down the hallway. _Oh my dear Sebby. It seems that his ankle is getting to him. He would never yell at his beloved like that. I must think of something to give him to make him happy. _He thought as he walked outside. Then he saw them: white roses. "ROSES! Of course!"

A little while later (after serving lunch to a smirking Ciel) Sebastian left the kitchen to find where Grell had gotten off to. _I truly hope he hasn't found my room..._ Sebastian thought as he walked down the corridor. He decided to take a short detour to his garden to check on his roses. Nothing should have happened to them this time.

But he was sadly mistaken. Because what met him was not perfectly primped roses, but a hashing of white rose _petals_. And who was doing the hashing? Why Grell of course.

"Oh Sebby darling! I was just cutting up these roses for you with my death scythe. They remind me of your beautiful white gloves. Aren't I a wonderful butler friend?" Grell asked as he continued to mutilate the roses with his chainsaw death scythe.

"Bu-bu-but this can't be. I-I-I just planted those this MORNING! FOR THE SECOND TIME!" Sebastian yelled as he rubbed his eyes. He had to be _dreaming_, he just had to be. But he wasn't.

"Really, you planted these this morning? You must've known I was coming dear! I'm so delighted, let me harvest them for you." Grell said cheerily as he swung his chainsaw over the roses making more petals fly in the air.

Then suddenly, with lightning fast speed despite the ankle, Sebastian had Grell's chainsaw in his hands. "Harvest them? _Harvest them!? I'LL HARVEST YOU! YOU'RE FIRED!_" Sebastian yelled hysterically as he swung the weapon at Grell's head.

"Oh MY!" Grell screamed as he ran down the path out of the garden with Sebastian on his tail. _At least on the bright side: He's finally chasing me! _

Tomorrow's day would bring more chaos indeed.


	5. Yellow Roses

Ciel arose the next morning and called for Sebastian like he does every day, but for this one morning Sebastian did not come. Getting irritated, Ciel called for Sebastian again, and again, and again. _The nerve of him. I know he hears me calling him. I'll just go find him myself, I need breakfast. _Ciel thought as he pulled on his boots and went outside.

The most likely place for Sebastian to be was in the rose garden, after yesterday's disaster. And Ciel did find him there and he found something else too. _What the hell is that!?_

Because around Ciel's rose garden was a _wooden barricade. _Outside of that barricade was Sebastian with a can of red paint writing the words: _KEEP THE HELL OUT. _He wrote this on one wall then moved around to the others until he came back to the front.

In a state of shock Ciel stood slack-jawed as Sebastian began to dig a _hole_ in front of the barricade. Snapping out of his frozen stare Ciel demanded, "Sebastian! What the hell do you think you're doing? Why is there a barricade around the roses and what are you digging!?"

Sebastian stopped digging and turned around to stare at Ciel. There was something wrong with his eyes...he looked INSANE. And the false smile he was wearing didn't help his appearance. "What am I doing? I'm digging a moat around the barricade to protect my white roses, that's what I'm doing." He said cocking his head to one side.

Backing away a little Ciel said, "I didn't tell you you could build a barricade around the flower bed and furthermore- STOP DIGGING THAT DAMN HOLE!" Ciel yelled as Sebastian ignored him and continued digging the moat. "Put the shovel down and go make breakfast!"

Sighing heavily Sebastian dropped the shovel and went over to stand by Ciel. "As you wish young master. But where is the test butler for today? Let's get it over with, besides _no_ moron should be able to get past that."

"There's no test butler today, but someone should be coming tomorrow. So now you could stop defiling my garden and make FOOD." Said Ciel as he started to go back inside the manor with Sebastian trailing behind him.

But before Sebastian made breakfast he went to go give Finny, Bard, and MeyRin some specific orders. When they were lined up in front of him he began. "Now, as you may know, there has been trouble keeping my white roses intact. I just got them replanted again, so here's what you're going to do: _Stay the fuck away from them._" Is that _CLEAR?_"

The three clicked their heels together and replied, "Yessir Sebastian!" And with that Sebastian went to go make the earl breakfast.

When he had gone Bard lowered his salute. "Boy, he sure has an obsession over those roses of his. Ya see the barricade that he built around it? Massive for just one person I say."

"Well he just wants to keep his roses safe, is all." MeyRin said peering outside at the barricaded roses. "They sure are pretty looking aren't they and-FINNY! It's Pluto! He heading towards the barricade of roses, he is!"

Finny was already on his feet and running out the door before MeyRin could finish the sentence. "Pluto! Oh Pluto! Come back over here boy, don't go near that!" Finny called frantically waving his arms at Pluto who didn't give him a second look. "Pluto, you can't go over there. You'll get us into trouble with Sebastian!"

Then Finny spotted the chain hanging down from Pluto's neck. He made a dive to grab it and started to pull Pluto back from the rose barricade. Bard and MeyRin held onto another part of the chain and tried to help pull Pluto back.

"Arrgh! Finny, what in world did you feed this bloody dog? Steroids!?" Bard yelled to Finny as they tugged on Pluto's chain. "He's as strong as a freight train!"

"The chain's slipping out of my hand! I don't think I could hold on to him any longer!" MeyRin called fretfully as Pluto started to shake the chain back and forth.

Pluto finally succeeded in flinging the three off his chain. He then continued toward the rose barricade.

In fact, he seemed dead set that nothing was going to stop him from doing what he was about to do. And when he got to the rose garden he let it rip.

"Oh my."

"Pluto, _why?_"

"Damn, Sebastian's going to get us now."

Because Pluto just let rip a fountain of _urine_ right onto Sebastian's white roses. After finishing his business, Pluto went back to his own business of doing dog stuff. Leaving Finny, Bard, and MeyRin with the flood of the now _yellow_ roses.

This was the time that Sebastian decided to come back outside to check on his roses. When he first he saw Finny and the others, he had a sneaking suspicion that something was wrong. And when he entered the garden and saw the mess, his swearing could be heard all the way in India. Picking up the shovel he turned to three behind him. "You're all going to be turned into FERTILIZER!"

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

_**This was just a small intermission from the main story because the last butler is on his way. And this one will cause the most destruction yet... Hope you're enjoying this so far!**_


	6. Garden Fireworks

The day the last trial butler was due to come by for testing, Lizzie decided to drop by for a visit to Ciel. She said something about spending 'quality time' with him since he was so busy by himself in the manor. Ciel had no choice but to put up with her for the while she was there.

"Ciel, come and sit in the garden with me. You shouldn't be cooped up in your study on a day like this. Maybe Sebastian could make us a little picnic to take outside." Lizzie suggested to Ciel as he worked on a his latest order from Funtom.

Ciel didn't even glance up from his work. "I'm sorry Lizzie, but I'm waiting for another person to come to apply for the head butler position. I have no time for- LIZZIE! Let go of my arm, I don't want to go outdoors!" Ciel cried in midsentence as Lizzie dragged him towards the door. For a little girl she sure was strong when it came to doing something she wanted to do.

"We are going _outside._ Let Sebastian deal with the test butler. We, on the other hand, are going to enjoy a quiet time in the garden." Lizzie said forcefully dragging Ciel past Sebastian and out to the garden.

_Oh dear. Young master is having lady troubles. I'll just show the test butler in myself. _Sebastian thought as he made his way into the foyer to meet whoever it was applying for the job. But he stopped short when he saw the person standing at the bottom of the stairwell.

"Hello!? It is me, Soma Asman Kadar! I'm here for the position and to help out my dear friend Ciel. Oh, Sebastian! I am glad to see you, please tell me what my duties are for today. I will carry them out dutifully."

_DAMMIT. Why me? WHY ME? _Sebastian thought fretfully as he walked towards Soma with a plastic smile on his face. "Soma...what makes you want to take this job, exactly?" He asked stiffly as he tried to think about ways to get rid of Soma. There were none.

"I heard that you were injured and that Ciel might need help. As a willing friend I had to come to apply! And Agni said it would give me good experience in the working world for a prince. Now, enough chitchat, let us begin working!" Soma declared as he grabbed Sebastian by the arm and tugged him up the stairs.

Seeing no way out of the mess he was in, Sebastian led Soma into Ciel's study to start cleaning it. "I want you to dust the shelves while I clean the windows. _Don't touch anything else. _Do you understand?"

"Yessir Sebastian. I could surely get this job done." Soma replied eagerly taking the duster and waving it around. "I shall get on with it." Which was a disaster waiting to happen. Soma did dust the shelves but after he was finished he decided that Ciel's actual desk needed some cleaning as well.

He was actually doing pretty well until he knocked down the ink well that was on Ciel's desk. Black ink washed all down the sides of the desk and onto the Funtom work forms Ciel was working on. "Um Sebastian, what do you do to get ink stains out of wood, and carpet, and paper? There seems to have been a tiny spill."

Turning away from the newly cleaned windows Sebastian was about to ask why when he saw the invading mess of black ink on the desk. "Didn't I tell you not to touch anything else!?" Sebastian yelled as he picked up one of the order forms which had turned completely black.

"Well, if we could get the ink out of the paper then it should be all right, right?" Soma asked quietly ringing his hands nervously.

"Get the ink out of the paper? _REALLY? _Ink _belongs_ on paper! You CAN'T get it out!" Sebastian said as he started to clean up the ink on the desk. "Leave me to clean up your mess."

Soma complied immediately and ran down into the kitchen. When he was safely there he started to cry, he had never really been yelled at like that before since he was royalty. After a good deal of crying Soma dried his eyes and tried to think of a plan to prove Sebastian wrong.

_Wait a moment! I know exactly what to do to show him I could be a suitable butler. A butler's job is to make his master happy, yes? Then I shall make Ciel and even his fiance' happy beyond reason with a show that no one could refuse!_ Soma thought as he got up and went down the hall to the supply closet.

When he had gotten everything that he needed from the supply closet Soma went outside to find where Ciel and Lizzie were. He found them in the white rose garden lying on their backs in the sunlight. Lizzie seemed to have a firm upper grip on Ciel's arm though.

"Friend Ciel and Lizzie! I have devised a show for you two that would make you most happy indeed! Would you like to see what I have planned?" Soma asked carry a big bag of something across the garden.

"No, because I don't feel like dying today...OUCH LIZZIE! I mean, er, I guess it wouldn't hurt." Ciel said as Lizzie gave him a tight squeeze for being mean. "What do you have planned Soma?"

"A _Fireworks Show!_" Soma said cheerfully taking the fireworks out of the bag and setting them up. "I found them in the supply closet! Wouldn't this impress you?" He said as he tried to light the match he had with him.

"NO, it will not impress me one bit! Those fireworks were in the supply closet because they were-" Ciel began, but couldn't finish before Soma lit off the fireworks.

The fireworks took off well into the sky and things were going well until it they all made a U-turn to come straight back at Ciel, Lizzie, and Soma. That's when the explosions and fires started. Since they were in the garden it caught fire quickly. Everyone ran and ducked for cover from the possessed fireworks.

"I don't understand! Aren't fireworks supposed to explode in the SKY!?" Lizzie shouted as Ciel dragged her toward the manor with Soma following behind.

"I was about to say that the fireworks were _DEFECTED_. Before this imbecile lit them off!" Ciel shouted at Soma as they took cover in the doorway to watch the destruction.

"I'm so sorry Ciel! Please forgive me! I shall never touch another exploding thing in my life. Honest!" Soma cried as he cowered behind Ciel and Lizzie from the fireworks.

By then the fire was raging out of control and was burning all the flowers in sight, including Sebastian's white roses. And Sebastian picked the perfect time to come out and see it. He stood frozen in the doorway behind the other three and watched the flames engulf the roses.

It was too late to save _any _of the flowers that Sebastian had painstakingly planted. After the fire had died down he walked slowly to the spot where his roses _used_ to be. When he got there all he found were ashes, not a white rose in sight.

That was the point when Sebastian started scooping up the ashes to toss in the trash. He moved like a zombie and didn't look at anyone else. Just at the wasteland that was his pride and joy.

Soma approached Sebastian tentatively and tapped on his shoulder. "Se-se-Sebastian? If it makes you feel better I picked one rose before I set off the fireworks. They are very pretty. _Were, _I mean." Soma said as he handed Sebastian the white rose.

Sebastian took it and stared at it for a second. Then he did something unbelievable. _He __shredded it. All of it. _"_I'M DONE WITH THESE DAMN FLOWERS! I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANOTHER ONE AGAIN!" _He shouted as he started jumping up and down on the shredded remains.

On the bright side: His ankle was healed again.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

_**That's it for the story and the white roses. I hope you all enjoyed this fanfic and the mindless destruction of many white roses. :D**_


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